The other day, I wanted to watch a DVD. I put it in the player, but found myself pointing the remote at the TV rather than at the DVD player. Obviously nothing happened, yet I kept on pressing, getting frustrated, until I realised I was simply pointing my attention at the wrong thing. I was trying to control something that I couldn’t control, and I think we do that a lot in life. I’ll admit that I’m a control freak. I hate it when people don’t act how I think they should act and I do find it hard to understand. But the simple fact is that I can’t control other people. I can tell them how I feel about things and hope that they understand, but that’s as far as my influence can go. Because the controller I have in my hand only controls me. All that happens when I point it at other people and press the buttons is that I run my batteries down. By trying to control other people, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, because it’s not going to happen.
So, control what you can and accept what you can’t. But by ‘accept’ I don’t mean put up with it. If someone behaves in a way towards you that you don’t think is right, you can control the situation by deciding that it’s not healthy to have them in your life any more. It’s your reactions that you can control, not other people’s actions.
I’m slowly starting to realise that people might not think the same as me, but that’s ok. Because they’re who they are and I’m who I am. Everyone’s different. Just as you’re entitled to be you and be different to everyone else, so are they. So, if you’re a control freak like me, maybe it’s time to point the controller in the only direction that will work – towards you.